


Close to the Light

by CypressKiss



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Ben Solo - Freeform, F/M, Kylo Ren - Freeform, Star Wars: The Force Awakens - Freeform, Starkiller - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 22:04:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5602669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CypressKiss/pseuds/CypressKiss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are an old friend of Ben Solo, and one of the few who knows the truth of his whereabouts. Not aligning with the Resistance or First Order, you set out to find him. To bring him home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Close to the Light

The blood drips from your face like tears would. You’ve gone so far to find him. You strained yourself, training in the force, knowing you’d only end up mediocre. Not aligning with the Resistance, nor First Order, only with yourself. One could say, you were truly part of the dark side, but the light was always your cradle. And it was the overwhelming light that brought you to the Starkiller, in the cold of winter on this mutilated planet. And here he is, finally, with you. 

“I can feel you ... Ben.” You wheeze, holding your sides. 

The snow crunches beneath his boots, the wind thrashes about his black cloak, as though darkness is barely hanging onto him. 

“The Resistance is on their way here, I imagine.” He raises your limp body from the snow, completely ignoring your statement. 

“No, just me.” It’s hard not to cry in this moment. It isn’t the pain, the suffering, it is the joy of seeing an old friend. You smile through the tears. His grip tightens. “I-I remember us as kids. Friends from the first star to the last, remember?” The loss of blood shakes about your mind. 

You remember watching the young boy look to the stars in search of his father, running away as he often did. Your arms wrapped around him and you told him that you would never leave him. But that didn’t stop him from leaving you. 

“Quiet!” He demanded, the force’s grip trembling, dropping you for only a second. 

“Take off ... your helmet, please.” You hear the rage in his breath as you speak“I miss ... you.” Your eyes roll into the back of your head, no longer conscious. 

 

You awake in your sleeveless shirt and undershorts. Your winter gear, your boots, gloves, everything is missing. You find yourself among black sheets, and mountains of pillows in a room with its lights off. You roll over, seeing that the bed is placed against a large window, the only source of light. 

Like sleeping among the stars. 

You think calmly to yourself, until finally snapping back into reality. 

“Ben!” You call out, shooting up from the large bed you’ve ruined with dramatic motion.  
The room is empty, but definitely his. You can feel him in here. You throw your legs over the side of the bed, immediately regretting it as you start to feel pain again. Breathing a focused stream, you close your eyes and try to block out the pain. Before you can summon enough strength to stand, the door slides open. 

He’s taller than you remember, than again you only remember him before he was sent off to train with Luke. You should be fearful, or angry, some type of raw, darkening emotion. Instead you only feel relief to be here. Even in his dark robes and helmet. It’s the same Ben, he’s still in there, you feel it. 

“Ben.” You try to stand, but he uses the force to sit you back down. 

The door shuts as he walk towards you. He drops the long black cloak, taking a seat beside you. You want to throw your arms around him, and he knows this which is why he makes sure you don’t. 

“It’s been years.” He breathes out heavily, hands reaching for his helmet. 

When he removes it, enough is let up to where you can turn your head and look at him. You watch his shoulder length hair fall. You follow the softness of his lips, up the long arch of his nose, to his eyes. That’s where you find him. Ben. Tears push themselves out and you struggle hard to free yourself. You need to touch him, to run your fingers through his hair, to hold him as you did all those years ago. You manage to barely move your fingers. 

“Please.” You muster, fighting until near exhaustion. It was so easy for him to keep you there. Of course it would be. 

“I should kill you, to make me stronger.” He says into the emptiness of the room. There is a battle in him, one that even a weak Grey-Jedi like yourself could feel. 

“I’ll kick your ass even in the after life. Peedunky.” You continue to fight. 

He smirks, recalling all the times his mother, and your own, had berated you for your dirty mouth and how it still remains so. He turns to look at you, and for a moment lets his guard down. Long enough for you to lunge at him, successfully. 

Sweat rolls down your face, your neck, Hell, your entire body, from that struggle. And you are certain you smell like trash, but you don’t care. You only care that you have your arms around him now. That you can bury your face into the crook of his neck. You have him down, pinned on top of the bed, knowing this might be the last moment of your life. He could kill you, he just might, but at least you have him in your arms, this one last time. 

The next thing you expected to feel was a laser shooting through your body, or maybe the instant breaking of your neck. Instead, you feel his bare hands. Long fingers tracing up the sides of your body, creeping onto your back from under your shirt. An embrace long overdue. You exhale, closing your eyes tightly. 

You gasp, suddenly being tossed onto your back. He’s on his hands and knees, hovering above you. Looking down at you with eyes that are window to a soul ripped into pieces. You can only reach up and feel the curves of his face, and hope he can read into your mind that you don’t care. That you love him, every part of him. The darkest part of his soul will be loved by you, and nothing he could do would ever change that. 

He leans down, lips close to your ears. 

“I’ve missed you.” His whisper stains every crevice of your brain, the words you had only dreamt he would say to you when you found him as Kylo Ren. Your body immediately loosens, as you drink that statement. 

“Of course you did.” You smile at the sound of his soft chuckling. 

He lifts his head, his face over yours, you will not let him get away this time. You kiss him. You kiss him hard, drowning him with passion, with the starvation you’ve had for his lips for years. You feel your hips thrusts towards his as your arms cross over his back. He lets you, kissing you back harder than you had thought he would. You find the ends of his shirt, lifting it pass his head. He finds the waistband of your shorts, dragging them down, along with your panties. You remove your own shirt before undoing his pants. 

The both of you take a moment, pausing, soaking up the raw emotion between one another. Ben makes the first move, kissing your neck. His lips falling to your collarbone, down towards your breasts. He sinks lower, above your naval, below your naval. You hold your breath in anticipation. His lips finds your sweet spot. He sucks, then massages with his tongue. Your back arches, head tilting back as you stare out that window, discovering a nebula staring back at you. Technicolor washes over yours and his bare body, as if to make this moment into a dream. His fingers find your opening, curving into your g-spot, as he does not stop flicking at your clit with his skilled tongue. You breathe in sharply, eyes widening in the new found pleasure. 

“I need you.” Your voice breaks between sharp breathing. 

He looks up at you, a knowing smirk sliding across his face. Sliding onto of you, neither one of you break eye contact, until he pushes himself inside of you. You hips buckle into his as he turns away in a drowning gasp of pleasure. Lowering himself, your bodies become locked. He starts slow, getting high off the ecstasy of being inside of you. The sound of small prayers leave his lips as he thrusts deeper, harder, faster. You call out his name, toes curling. He lifts your hips, grabbing hold tightly, pounding with all control lost. Your breathing becomes shorter, you feel a heat sink low to your hips. He bites at his lips, tracing your body with his eyes, admiring every last part of you, regretting every inch he might have hurt. 

“Promise you’ll stay.” He slows down. 

“Only if you do.” You sink into him. 

“I promise.” He leans towards your face, meeting you in a kiss, hands sliding up your back. 

“Promise.” You breathe into him, kissing him back with intent. 

The swiftness returns in an almost carnal desperation. He needs this as badly as you do. You become light headed, and can only hang onto him with loose strength. Your thighs grow numb, and he doesn’t show mercy. You are so close, and thought you would finish before him, but instead you climax the very moment he does. Even so, he doesn’t stop. He continues until he couldn’t find the strength to, as though to let go of this moment would be to lose it forever. 

He rolls over besides you, lying on his back, staring up at the low ceiling of his bed. You turn, gliding your arm across him, holding him close. 

“I need you ... here.” He says, not looking down to meet your gaze. You can see how badly he fights away tears. So afraid of where the light or maybe the dark might take him. 

“Then here is where I’ll be.” You kiss away the solitary tear strong enough to leave.

He rolls onto his side, embracing you. Locking in a promise to never let you go. The only spark of light he has.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I'm back. With smutty, smutty, trash. I hope you guys enjoy this one as much as the last one! Thank you for reading!


End file.
